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Dumbass Review Notes

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Dumbass Review Notes

 

In most public accounting firms, partners do not prepare tax returns.  Some variant of the following process takes place:

 

The partner receives the information from the client and assigns the tax return preparation to a manager, who gives it to a senior, who gives it to a staff person, who prepares the tax return, gives it back to the senior, the senior writes corrections (review notes), gives it back to the staff, the staff person makes the corrections (clears the review notes), gives the return back to the senior who clears the cleared review notes and gives the return to the manager who writes more review notes, hands the return back to the senior who reviews the review notes and gives the return back to the staff, the staff clears the second round of review notes, gives the return back to the senior who again clears the cleared review notes and gives the return back to the manager who also clears the cleared review notes, or writes more and starts the process over, and then gives the return to the partner who writes more review notes, back to the manager, back to the senior, back to the staff and then back up again, and then if all goes well the return is assembled, the partner signs the return, and the return goes out the door.

 

Of course I'm leaving out the part during this process where the staff person comes up with open items (stuff we're missing from the client) while preparing the tax return, forwards the open items list to the senior who writes down the same open items while reviewing the return, forwards the return to the manager who writes down the same open items again and then asks the staff person who originally wrote the open items what the answers are.  Eventually the client is sent the open items, which it later turns out were the wrong questions and the client didn't answer half of them anyway because they had more important things to do than answer annoying e-mails from their accountants, so the open items process starts over again with new questions and follow-up questions to the wrong questions that were asked in the first place, but I digress.

 

A by-product of this wonderfully efficient process is the review note.  Sometimes review notes are effective- they catch mistakes in the tax return and help people learn how to avoid those mistakes in the future.  Other times review notes can be, well, less than effective.  And in some cases, the review notes are just plain stupid, in which case they qualify as "dumbass review notes".

 

The following are actual review notes written by real people, who shall remain anonymous, at CPA firms across the country.  Each excerpt below contains 1) The actual review note written, and 2) The smartass (unwritten) response the review note deserved. 

 

Feel free to e-mail me if you've received a similar gem and I'll add it to the collection.  To protect the guilty, no names, accounting firms, or office locations will ever be disclosed on this site.  Enjoy:

 

Why is advertising expense higher than last year?

 

I'll have to research and get back to you, but my guess is that the client spent more money on advertising this year, therefore the expense is higher.

 

What is rental income of $19,322?

 

Uh, income from rents?

 

Rent expense looks low.

 

And my favorite color is blue.  What's your point?

 

Accounting fees seem high.

 

Maybe we should lower our fees.

 

Why are we doing this schedule different than last year?

 

Because last year's schedule was wrong and caused the client to pay a lot more tax than they should have.

 

Please change the description to match the prior year.  You should always follow what was done in the prior year.

 

I am the Prior Year, your God, who gave you workpapers to follow.  Thou shalt have no other gods before me. Remember the Prior Year and keep it holy.  Honor thy Prior Year workpapers. Thou shalt not think.  Thou shalt not be creative.  Thou shalt not commit deviations from the Prior Year in any way.  Thou shalt not covet a more efficient way of doing things. 

 

Change "office expense" to "office overhead expense".

 

I'm glad the client is paying you $350 per hour to catch these things.

 

Change "auto expense" to "vehicle expense".

 

Thanks, another audit red flag avoided.

 

Sorry to do this to you, but at this late date and due to my lame computer skills, I need a hard copy of everything in a file. 

 

Review note requesting that the entire, completed paperless project be printed out, stapled, and re-referenced on paper.  Written a month after the firm had announced that future projects should be prepared paperless where feasible.

 

Adjust payroll tax expense by $.01

 

Somebody needs to get laid more often.

 

Please alphabetize the list of other deductions on the supporting statement for line 20.

 

Would you like fries with your obsessive compulsive disorder?

 

The client's name, the tax year, and the name of the workpaper should be written at the top of each workpaper.

 

Sounds to me like you're afraid that your knowledge of the tax law isn't strong enough to write any points that might actually affect the numbers on the tax return or save the client money, so instead you focus on workpaper technicalities.

 

PBC should always be written at the top right of each client prepared workpaper instead of the top left.

 

Thanks for the safety tip.

Check yes on the $3 presidential election campaign box.

Because what this country really needs is more political ads.

Is depreciation expense correct?  How was depreciation determined in the prior year?

We drew numbers out of a hat.  Look at the depreciation schedule.

I'm not sure I'm comfortable with this number.

 

Have you considered counseling? I know a good therapist who specializes in this area.

 

Change the description for "political contributions" to "nondeductible political contributions".

 

As opposed to the deductible kind? (Internal Revenue Code Section 162(e)(1)(B) disallows political campaign contributions as a tax deduction).


I don’t see any interest being accrued on this note payable in the G/L.

 

The client is on the cash basis.

 

Please sign off on the work docket under preparation and review.

 

Note written to a tax staff member who neither prepared nor reviewed the tax return.

 

You didn't clear review points #4, 12 and 17.

 

I wasn't planning to dignify them with a response.

Did we account for the Federal/California differences on the California K-1?

No, the numbers in the column on the K-1 titled "California adjustments" are just my lotto picks for this week. (Here's your sign).

What is the status of the Washington property?

It hasn't moved.  Next question.

Why do they have a new account for GL #1395?

Just to piss you off.

Did you actually review the checklist?

 

Does anyone?

 

Can I get an update on when you think the following (6) tax returns will be done?

 

How about never? Does never work for you?

 

Why did the tax return go over budget?

 

Because I was busy answering e-mails from you inquiring about the status of the tax return and why it was taking so long.

 

Please do the same schedule as last year reconciling the client’s June 30th fiscal year investment in partnership balance sheet numbers to the calendar year K-1 ending balances using the client's distribution numbers from January 1st through June 30th.

 

Let me make sure I understand.  You don't trust the client's numbers, so you are going to use the client's numbers (distributions) to reconcile to the client's numbers (investment in partnership)?

 

Need to request detail for cash balances.

 

We could do that, but I think the auditors already beat that issue up pretty well when they did the work for this here signed, audited financial statement.

 

(Client's assistant) needs the tax return tonight to get (client's) signature at their home tonight before he goes on vacation.  When will the return be ready for processing?  [Sent via email]

 

[Auto-Reply] I am currently on vacation and do not have access to e-mail.  I will be back in the office Monday and will return all e-mails at that time.

The beginning partner capital on the (2003) trial balance does not appear to include the income from 2003.

No kidding, is that why they call it "beginning" partner capital?

Add copies of all [300 pages of] supporting detail provided by client to the file and reference each schedule to the trial balance.

And you wonder why your projects go over budget.

Please make a note to pick this item up for next year.

In the time it took you to write the note asking me to write a note, couldn't you have just written the note yourself?

There are some workpapers in the extension area of the file that should be in the carryforward area of the file.

Then why don't you move them?

Please remember to rubber band client files together.

 

Why, do you get a commission from the manufacturer the more rubber bands we use?

 

Make a note on the assignment docket to attach a copy of the extension to the tax return.

 

“You can file your tax return any time before the extension expires.  Do not attach a copy of Form 4868 to your return.”  (IRS instructions for Form 4868, Request for extension of time to file individual tax return).

 

Did you review the perm file?

 

Of course, with the miniscule budget you gave me to prepare the tax return I examined every line of all 587 pages of irrelevant crap that has accumulated in that file over the past 15 years.

 

Enter each individual equipment addition per the client g/l and the date acquired on the depreciation schedule rather than combining them into subgroups.

 

Cool, that way when the tax software doesn’t roll forward the accumulated depreciation correctly to next year we can go back and spend 10 hours manually re-entering and overriding the federal, state, AMT, and state AMT depreciation data for 147 individual assets rather than 6.

 

List on the assignment docket each date you worked on the tax return and the number of hours you spent each day.

 

.... And the percentage of each day’s hours wasted clearing pointless review notes.

 

Need to do a payroll reconciliation and adjust payroll expense on the tax return to match the payroll tax returns and the W-3.

 

Payroll tax returns are prepared on the cash basis.  The client is on the accrual basis.  Accrual basis means the client has accrued salaries and vacation which show up in current year payroll expense on an accrual basis tax return but which haven't been paid yet and therefore do not show up on the payroll tax returns until next year.  Additionally, the client has book-tax differences, both this year and last year, for accrued wages not paid within 2.5 months of year-end.  In other words, the payroll tax returns and the income tax returns shouldn't match each other, so adjusting the payroll expense on the tax return would result in the tax return going out the door wrong.

 

Accrue rent expense of $600 for December and record rent income for the same amount on [related entity's] books.  Also reverse the rent accrual we did from last year.

 

Let's recap.  The client owns two related entities here with hundreds of thousands of dollars in income.  You want to make a change that will have zero net effect on the client's overall income, create unnecessary confusion and probably a couple phone calls from the client which I'll have to deal with and rationalize your short-sighted decision to the client, and then next year you'll want to reverse the entry and make a new entry to start the process all over again.  I understand and accept your insecurity and desire to feel important by consistently writing 15 review notes when there is nothing you can find wrong with a tax return, but give me a break.

Correct the mispellings in your memo.

You mean the part where you misspelled misspelling?

?

Sorry, my telepathy isn't what it used to be.  When you're done "?"ing with yourself, can you please explain what you mean in English?  

What is this?

Looks to me like a dumbass review note, but you would know best.

You should assume the reviewer is an idiot when referencing the workpapers.

Thanks, didn't need to be told that.

Back to top

 

 

The Roots of All Evil

 

ASAP

Attrition

Backlog Reports

Budgets

Cover Letters

Formal Dress Codes

General Marketing

Hourly Billing

Leverage & Partial Delegation

Overhead

Overtime

Recruiting Propaganda

Seniority

The Gang-Rape System

Timesheet Recaps

Workpaper Proliferation

 

Back to top

 

 

ASAP

 

"A good manager is best when people barely know he exists; not so good when people obey and acclaim him; worse when they despise him."

- Lao Tsu, 6th Century BC

Around 80% of drivers think they are above average at driving.  I'd guess a similar percentage of partners and managers in CPA firms think their clients and projects are of above average importance relative to the work the rest of the firm does. 

In larger public accounting firms some staff people have up to ten different bosses for whom they do work.  Staff people are told to work on projects using the FIFO system: first-in, first-out,  Makes sense in theory, but FIFO is difficult to enforce and most people end up working on what they feel like most of the time.  Besides, strict adherence to FIFO doesn't allow a staff person to differentiate between a truly urgent project and a less urgent one.

Tax partners and managers will often assign work out to staff with no clear communication of when they need the work completed, wait a little while, become restless, then start bugging the staff for status reports on when the work will be completed (thus further delaying the task of actually doing the work).  With ten different bosses assigning out projects that have ASAP or no deadline specified, it becomes difficult for staff people to effectively prioritize.  The primary motivation becomes to avoid hassles.

Sometimes a manager will race over to a staff person's desk, stress the urgency of the project, the staff person stays late that day finishing the project, then the manager doesn't review it for three weeks.  The staff person gets the project back in three weeks with review notes which must be cleared ASAP.  When the staff person doesn't clear the review notes within a day, he gets a phone call or an e-mail from the manager asking "what is the status of......?"  He rushes to finish up.  Then two more weeks pass before the project finally goes out the door.

Folks, it's just paperwork for the most part.  An extra day or two spent to get it right probably isn't going to hurt anyone.  ASAP has been abused to the point where it has lost its importance ("important" has also lost its importance, but I digress). 

If a manager has to ask about the status of a project it is probably because he or she didn't clearly define the timetable for the project and obtain the staff person's buy-in on it.  We would all do well to remember the law of the 6 P's: Proper Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance.

Back to The Roots of All Evil

 

 

Attrition

Most accounting firms are so focused on recruiting they overlook that if they just did a better job on employee retention, they wouldn't need to devote so many resources to recruiting in the first place.

Imagine the perfect accounting firm where all employees are 100% happy 100% of the time.  Would that firm need to devote much attention to recruiting?  Probably not, as most of the happy employees would 1) not leave, and 2) talk to their friends at other firms about their great jobs, and some of those friends would eventually want to leave their unhappy jobs to come work at the happy firm. 

Back in the real world, attrition hovers somewhere around 10% of staff per year for local CPA firms and 20-30% for the large national firms.  An attrition rate of 20% per year means that two-thirds of the current employees are gone in five years, 90% are gone in ten years.

High turnover hurts morale, doesn't allow accounting firms to earn back their investment in training, results in a critical loss of expertise, loss of productivity, additional out-of-pocket expenditures for recruiting and training, and sometimes loss of clients as well.

The costs of replacing someone include exit interviews, exit paperwork, bloated human resource departments whose payrolls could go towards paying more to staff, severance pay, advertising, headhunting fees, employee referral fees (up to $10,000 these days), lost revenue from partner and staff time taken up in interviews, lunches, recruiting events, and meetings to discuss new job hires, training materials, lost revenue from training new employees, new stationery, business cards, parking passes, etc.

Of course attrition is healthy to the extent it weeds out the employees you don't want, the mediocre ones who don't really care and to some extent function as interchangeable parts doing low level work.  But people are not commodities, and star workers certainly are not interchangeable. 

What amazes me is that some firms don't try very hard to keep their superstars.  They're too proud to say, "we need you, you help make this place work, tell us honestly what is bothering you and what we can do to make it better, we value you far too much and we can't accept your resignation."

The former managing partner at a firm I know was fond of saying, "it is not our job to make our employees happy." This partner happens to be a really nice guy, but maybe his attitude towards employees was partly responsible for the unusually high turnover his firm experienced.

Compare this to the attitude of a managing partner at another firm that is rapidly growing.  This guy's attitude is 180 degrees opposite.  If an employee he likes tries to leave, he basically refuses to let them go, doing whatever he can to accommodate the employee and get them to stay.  While it doesn't always work, often times the employee is leaving over some silly, easily-solved problem, which the partner figures out simply by listening and then taking the necessary action to make things right. The result of making the extra effort is that this partner has a core group of dedicated employees that are loyal to him and have stayed with him since the beginning of his practice.

One other strategy smart firms use is hiring on the basis of whether or not the applicant is qualified, not on whether the firm currently needs them.  Many firms only hire when they have a slot to fill.  Doesn't matter if they have two superstar candidates, there's only one slot.

These firms can get burned later by attrition.  They lose someone and then it's a mad scramble to find someone to fill the position, even if they aren't qualified.  The result is that potential stellar employees get passed up in the hiring process when times are good, lackluster employees get hired when times are bad, and overall the organization ends up with lower quality personnel.

Back to The Roots of All Evil

 

 

Backlog Reports (a.k.a. WIP Reports, TPS Reports)

 

Every Monday some firms require their staff people to complete a spreadsheet listing all the projects they are working on and how many hours they estimate it will take to complete each project.  From this report the managers and partners are supposed to be able to figure out which staff people are low on work and assign more projects to them accordingly.

 

The firm then has people who devote a significant portion of their time to monitoring these backlog reports.  If a staff person neglects to include a certain entry on their backlog report or drag themselves out of bed early enough to hand the report in by the Monday morning deadline, they get an annoying phone call(s) or e-mail asking them to fix the report.

 

It's similar to a scene from the movie Office Space:

 

Monday Morning, 9:15....

 

Annoying Boss 1: Hello Peter. What's happening? Uh, we have sort of a problem here. Yeah, you apparently didn't put one of the new cover sheets on your TPS reports.

 

Peter Gibbons: Oh, yeah, I'm sorry about that, I forgot.

 

Annoying Boss 1: Um, yeah, you see we're putting the new cover sheets on all TPS reports now before they go out. Did you see the memo about this?

 

Peter Gibbons: Yeah, I have the memo right here, I just forgot, but it's not shipping out until tomorrow, so there's no problem.

 

Annoying Boss 1: Yeah, if you could just go ahead and make sure you do that from now on, that would be great.  And, uh, I'll go ahead and make sure you get another copy of that memo. M'kay?  Bye bye Peter.

 

 

[A couple minutes later]....

 

Annoying Boss 2: Hi, Peter. What's happening? We need to talk about your TPS reports.

 
Peter Gibbons: Yeah. The coversheet. I know, I know. Bill talked to me about it.


Annoying Boss 2: Yeah, did you get that memo?


Peter Gibbons: Yeah. I got the memo. And I understand the policy. And the problem is, I just forgot this one time. And I've already taken care of it so it's not even really a problem anymore.


Annoying Boss 2: Uh, Yeah. It's just that we're putting new coversheets on all the TPS reports before they go out now. So if you could go ahead and try to remember to do that from now on, that would be great. Alright!

 

[Phone rings 5 seconds later]....

 

Peter Gibbons: "Peter Gibbons"

 

[Voice on the other end]

 

Peter Gibbons: "Yes, I have the memo"....

 

There are managers who follow these backlog reports almost religiously.  These managers will call a staff person up on a Thursday and say something to the effect of: "I see you have 25 hours on your backlog report.  I need you to do this project so I expect you'll be able to get to it in 2 days based on your backlog."

 

Whatever was on that report Monday probably bears little resemblance to the reality of the staff's workload on Thursday.  Old work has gone out, new work has come in, clients have called up with emergencies that need to be handled right away, the Monday report was just a grossly inaccurate approximation anyway, etc.

 

Yet the manager acts as if Monday's report is a reliable predictor of the staff's workload over the next few days even though the staff person has ten other bosses who are constantly assigning new work irrespective of the backlog and usually want their stuff ASAP as well.

 

There are other managers who routinely review every staff person's backlog and send changes to the staff requesting that their backlog reports be amended.  Once the staff person wastes the necessary time amending and resubmitting their backlog report, the manager proceeds to waste everybody else's time by sending an e-mail with the revised backlog to all partners and managers informing them that the backlog report has been changed.  Don't these people have clients they could be worrying about instead?

 

A partner at one firm has been known to levy harsh penalties on staff for not keeping their backlogs up to date.  In one case a staff person was working almost 80 hours per week during tax season but didn't show all her projects on her backlog.  The partner came by and dropped a bunch of additional work on the staff person.  The staff person explained she didn't have time to complete the additional work before April 15th due to her already overbearing workload.  "Tough, you didn't put it on your backlog, you must not be that busy".

 

Not keeping backlog reports up to date is even cited as a "weakness" or "area for improvement" in annual performance reviews.

 

More Office Space.......

 

Outside Consultant: I'd like to move us right along to a Peter Gibbons.  Now, we had a chance to meet this young man, and wow, that's just a straight-shooter with upper management written all over him.

 

Annoying Boss 1: Yeah, Um. I'm gonna have to go ahead and sort of disagree with you there. Yeah..... He's been having some problems with his TPS reports.

 

Outside Consultant: Bill, let me ask you a real quick question here.  How much time would you say you spend each week dealing with these TPS reports?

 

Annoying Boss 1: Uh, Yeah.

 

And that's really the issue.  How much time is being spent on these backlog reports that could be spent more productively on coming up with ways to help clients?  Backlog reports provide an illusion of control.  They allow the bureaucrats in all of us to think we are managing without actually doing any effective management at all. 

 

Back to The Roots of All Evil

 

 

Budgets

 

"Welcome to 'Whose Line Is It Anyways?', where everything is made up and the points don't matter."

 

- Drew Carey, from the show Whose Line Is It Anyways?

 

Managers and partners give staff overly precise and often unrealistic budgets to complete projects.  The normal result is that projects go over budget due to Parkinson's law: work expands to fill the time available for its completion.

 

In cases where staff can complete a project under budget, they often waste enough time chatting, surfing the Internet, etc. to bring the time spent equal to budget.  The budget, which often starts out as a total guesstimate, becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. 

 

I could work faster but why risk chipping a nail.

 

Then there is the practice of eating time.  People generally want to do well.  If you give a staff person a budget of 4 hours but they take 6 hours to complete the project, there is a tendency to feel inadequate.  To hide the inadequacy, the staff person may "eat" two hours of time.  They end up working for free to appear "normal".

 

"Don't eat time" the typical firm motto goes.  Sounds noble, but it's crap.  Staff get hassled on specific projects when they exceed budgets but then are told in general, don't eat time. 

 

"Oh no! We went over-budget by $2,000".  Really?  $2,000 is a fictitious amount based on a hypothetical billing rate. What you actually paid the staff member for the extra time was $400.

 

Unrealistic budgets can cost clients big dollars.  I've seen several cases where CPA's have been so focused on meeting budgets and following the prior year that they've missed hundreds of thousands of dollars in tax credits.  Overlook $200,000 in savings in an attempt to save maybe $2,000.  Missed tax credits usually place in the top ten each year for reasons accountants get sued.

 

Time budgets create pressure and cause mistakes since speed over quality becomes the emphasis.  Arguably, budgets also end up increasing project time over the long-term.  When everyone is rushing to complete projects, they don't take the time to learn the material properly and get it right the next time. 

 

What if the best way to decrease long-term project time is to make sure that staff people are learning from their mistakes on each project they do? In other words, get people motivated about the work, about improving and getting good at what they do, and the budgets will eventually take care of themselves. After all, it's rare that a project done right the first time goes over-budget.

 

Back to The Roots of All Evil

 

 

Cover Letters & Snail Mail

 

How much of the crap you get in the mail do you actually read? 

 

We're selling tax advice, not classic literature.  Do our clients really want to read a two-page cover letter for a simple tax extension when one page of the extension letter is just disclaimers?  

 

Here's how the process works at one firm for tax extensions: 

 

The partner assigns the extension down through the ranks to a staff person.  The staff person prepares and prints out the extension along with a cover letter.  A manager reviews the extension and cover letter and makes changes, or gives it back to the staff person to make changes.  The letter and extension are then routed to a secretary to put on firm letterhead, to the partner for signature, then back to the secretary.  The secretary prepares one extension for mailing to the IRS, a second copy with the cover letter to mail to the client, and a third copy with cover letter for the file, which is then routed back to the staff person.  A second administrative person runs the envelopes with the extension through the metered mail machine to affix postage.  A third administrative person then does a mail run later in the day to send out the extensions.  The client receives the extension in the mail a few days later.  It has his social security number and other personal information on it, so instead of just throwing it away he must go through the hassle of shredding it to guard against identity theft.  Three weeks later he also receives a bill for the extension.

 

One of my first mentors left a CPA firm I was at early in my career and ending up working for one of the firm's clients.  Having been a manager at the CPA firm, she knew all the inefficiencies.  She would request just the tax extension, no cover letter.  What would she get? Two page cover letter, extension, and a separate charge for the extension.  Per entity.  Not happy.  She eventually fired the partner in charge of the account. 

 

The same principle applies to most everything accountants write.  If a client calls with a tax question, it doesn't necessarily mean they want an 8-page memo sent to them in return.  Sure, clients are interested in the basic logic behind the conclusions and recommendations, but most just want a simple, straightforward recommendation without a whole lot of brain damage involved.

 

Clients have better things to do with their lives than read intricate cover letters from CPA's at their expense.  The same goes for email disclaimers, especially the "Please consider the environment before printing this email" footnote that inevitably results in a one page email becoming a two-page email when it is printed out.    

 

Back to The Roots of All Evil

 

 

Formal Dress Codes

 

Pretty much everyone wears casual attire to work on the weekends.  It's funny how when people are given a choice, even those who say they prefer formal or business casual attire end up dressing casual.

 

There is one strong argument against casual clothing at work: clients.  If you have a meeting with clients you should be dressed at least to match their attire.  But most of our contact with clients is over the phone or through e-mail, especially in Los Angeles where it is a hassle to drive anywhere. When clients do come to the office, most firms have conference rooms to meet in.  Clients never need to see the rest of the office.

 

Do formal and even business casual dress codes hurt clients?  There are some very smart, extremely productive people who refuse to work for a company or in an industry that does not allow a casual dress code.  They go to work for the company's competitors instead, placing formally dressed companies at a competitive disadvantage, and leaving less qualified candidates to serve the clients.  How many potentially great CPA's went to work for Google instead? We'll never know.

 

What is the benefit of making workers who have zero face-to-face client contact dress up in costumes that are uncomfortable to work in?  How does forcing people to waste time and money on ironing, shoe-shining, and dry-cleaning help a company increase its profits? If someone who doesn't meet with clients shows up in comfortable black tennis shoes instead of uncomfortable black leather shoes, do profits decrease? If most people prefer wearing casual when given the chance, they don't have face-to-face client contact, and everyone already knows what everybody else looks like in casual, why not just make every day casual?

 

Some people want to dress up.  Go for it, more power to you.  But in the same way that I have no desire to make you dress casual, why would you feel the need to make me dress formal? I'm okay, you're okay.

 

Don't get me wrong, I'm not lobbying for bathing suits and body piercing to replace business casual.  All I'm saying is that if workers were allowed to wear nice jeans, tennis shoes, sandals and T-shirts to work in addition to the regular business casual attire, many people would feel more comfortable, more productive, and be more willing to work longer hours.  How bad could this be for clients?

 

Back to The Roots of All Evil

 

 

General Marketing

 

Every minute you spend on marketing is a minute you're not spending trying to figure out how to help your existing clients.  If you just do great work and by doing so you turn your clients into your best salespeople, do you even need general marketing?

 

Back to The Roots of All Evil

 

 

Hourly Billing

 

Others have made the case against hourly billing far more eloquently than I can.  Ron Baker probably summed it up best:

What If Airlines Billed Like CPAs?

"Let us pretend that I went to an airline counter to ask for a ticket to Chicago.

"No problem, Mr. Baker, window or aisle," the agent replies.

"How much does it cost," I ask, as he proceeds to book the ticket.

"Obviously, Mr. Baker, you do not understand the complexity of the airline business," the agent replies. "There are a myriad of variables that affect the cost of flying from San Francisco to Chicago: weather, airport traffic, tailwinds, headwinds, passenger and luggage weight, whether or not the pilot utilizes computerized navigation and/or auto-land, and how long the flight and cabin crews have worked here at the airline, just to name a few...

"Now, Mr. Baker, you just board the plane. We will fly you there safely, and send you a bill in approximately 30 days detailing the charges for everything we did. Of course, it goes without saying that we will be very thorough and honest. If I attempted to quote you a price now, it might not be enough to cover all of the airline's expenses, and we would lose money, which would not be fair to us. Alternatively, I could charge you too much, and then you would be an unhappy customer, which we do not want either. Have a nice flight."

Sound ludicrous? It is. But the analogy conveys the attitude of CPAs who refuse to quote prices at the start of an engagement."

 

I recommend the following links if you are interested in a more serious discussion of the merits and drawbacks of hourly billing.  A couple of these articles are focused on lawyers, but the same principles apply to accountants:

 

The short, unhappy history of how lawyers bill their clients

 

The Theory Behind Pricing and How CPA's Bill Clients

 

How to Implement Value Pricing Into an Accounting Practice

 

Hourly Billing Limits Profitability

 

Change Orders & Innovative Pricing Methods

 

Pricing Psychology

 

To Raise Your Prices, Change Your Theory

 

How lawyers and accountants steal from clients through hourly billing

 

Why Hourly Billing Sucks

 

Some additional observations:

 

If you are a CPA with many years of experience, you sell a client on how much of an expert you are and how you've dealt with many similar clients in their industry, how does it look to the client when you are unable to quote them a fixed price for the engagement?  If you have so much experience, don't you also know roughly how much it will cost?

 

If I spend an hour and save a client $500,000, on an hourly basis their bill would be a few hundred dollars.  If I spend an hour doing work of no value to the client, the bill is still a few hundred dollars.  If I make the same amount per billable hour, what is the incentive to search for ways to save clients money?

 

What incentive is there to work efficiently on an hourly basis?  The product is billable hours.  Maximizing revenue means running up as many billable hours as possible.

 

If my investment in technology and personal growth allows me to complete a task in one-third the time it used to take, does that task become two-thirds less valuable to the client?

 

Most firms actually bill their clients for billing.  Not only is the time incurred to prepare the bill charged to the client, but if the client calls to complain about the bill, that time is also billed to the client.  It's a rare example where calling to complain can actually make your bill go up.  Some partners and managers spend up to 10% of their time dealing with billing, time that could otherwise be spent helping clients. 

 

Back to The Roots of All Evil

 

 

Leverage & Partial Delegation

 

A friend of mine received a bill from her company’s CPA firm.  The bill was for a California single-member limited liability company tax return, which is probably the simplest type of tax return in public accounting, requiring only three pages and a gross receipts calculation.  The detail for the bill showed that six (6) different people worked on the tax return.  What is wrong with this picture?

 

 

I read an article in one of the major accounting magazines claiming that the five critical success factors for a CPA firm are “leverage, productivity, rate, write-ups or write-downs, and efficiency”.  The article continued, citing some CPA guru, “The key to firm profitability is leverage and rates… the ability of partners to leverage themselves by maximizing the number of staff they can keep busy." (Noticeably absent from this list is any mention of making the customer happy).

 

If leverage is so profitable, why does the average partner in the CPA industry earn less than their hourly billing rate multiplied by hours billed annually?  Where are all the supposed profits from the staff people the partner is “leveraging”? If leverage is so efficient, why does it typically take three levels of review and several weeks to get a tax return out the door? What is productive about keeping six people busy working on a three-page tax return?

 

Today's Dilbert Comic

 

I have no quarrel with delegation in theory.  The problem is that the traditional CPA firm doesn’t truly delegate- it micromanages and duplicates work.  Effective delegation requires that, among other things, you give the person you are delegating to full authority for decisions, make them fully accountable for completion of the project, and focus on the results, not the process by which the job is done. 

 

Effective delegation is nowhere to be found in the tax department of the typical CPA firm.  The staff person preparing the tax return has almost no authority to make decisions when their work is subject to three levels of review (senior, manager, partner).  The staff person has little accountability for completion of the project since once they finish preparation the project can sit on three other workers’ desks often for several weeks before the project is reviewed.  Lastly, the staff person has little control over how to complete the project when they are generally told to “just follow last year”, regardless of how inefficient or erroneous last year’s approach may have been.

 

The problem starts with partners who want to sign off on everything that goes out the door, from the most complex tax returns to the simplest three-page LLC return.  This creates a bottleneck right off the bat.  The solution is to delegate less complex projects entirely to the managers, seniors, and staff. 

 

In the case of a three-page single member LLC tax return for California, there are really only two ways to botch it: get the gross receipts wrong, or get the tax payments made during the year wrong.  Both are pretty hard to screw up.  This type of return does not require six different people to be involved.

 

Some may argue that partners need to be involved with everything that goes out the door in order to ensure quality control.  But if a firm does not trust its managers, seniors and staff to handle less complex projects entirely themselves, the root of the problem is lack of training.  The firm could take the time it is currently wasting on excessive levels of review and use it to train lower level employees thoroughly on handling less complex projects themselves, thereby eliminating the need for multiple levels of review on simpler projects.

 

Another problem with delegation the way it is currently done is that partners end up spending a huge chunk of their time on administration rather than client service.  The article I mentioned above quotes a partner at one firm bragging that, “I can monitor our realization on an hourly basis.  I spend 60 to 70 percent of my time monitoring and running the practice”. 

 

The article went on to cite that "innovations" in this guy’s firm included “recording time by exact minutes instead of fractions of an hour, examining every bill” and “receipt of daily cash reports and monthly, detailed financial statements”.  CPA-style delegation has turned this guy from someone who primarily helps clients to someone who is primarily a bureaucrat monitoring reports that are likely just garbage in, garbage out, keeping him from his true role of leadership.

 

Even when delegation is more profitable, it isn’t necessarily more fun.  No one wants to be a machine part on an assembly line, but that is exactly how typical delegation in CPA firms makes most managers, seniors and staff feel.  Kids don’t dream about becoming assembly line parts when they grow up; they want to be super heroes, rock stars, astronauts, etc; people who do interesting things and make a difference in the world.   

 

A lot of accountants I know like playing the puzzle game Sudoku.  Imagine that instead of playing Sudoku, you were only allowed to review other people’s completed puzzles.  Would you want to do it?        

 

No way.  You want to be the one doing the puzzle because it’s more fun that way.  To some extent it is the same way with tax returns.  Unless you are the one preparing the return or communicating with the client and running the show, CPA work can be pretty boring and unfulfilling.  Perhaps this is partly why so many firms have such trouble retaining tax managers and seniors (the middle-management of CPA firms).  Why be an assembly line worker when you can bail public accounting for something more creative and less stressful?

 

Another thought: why three levels of review?  Why not two, or four? Do the second and third levels of review really add enough value to be worth it, or is it just paranoia?  

 

Let’s reduce it to the ridiculous.  Imagine a firm with fifty people and forty-nine levels of review, where every person in the firm is involved in reviewing every single tax return that goes out the door.  The average tax return with forty-nine people reviewing it, one after another, would probably take a year to complete (one week for each person to let it sit in their inbox, review it, write corrections, route to someone else’s inbox where it will sit, etc).  Almost by definition, nothing would get done on time since the extended due date for a tax return is at most 9.5 months after year-end. 

 

With no one person responsible for the project, and with every worker responsible for many times his or her usual workload (since every person in the firm has to review every tax return), my guess is that quality would be extremely poor.  Why do a good job if forty-nine people above you are there as a safety net?  Who would have time to focus enough on the client to identify all the tax-saving opportunities?  Who would even remember the names or details of most clients?

 

The point is that the more levels of review there are, the slower and worse service the client typically gets.  Excellence requires focus and pride of ownership.  This is not possible when workers are involved in too many projects, none of which they are ultimately in control of.

 

I once tried an experiment with several staff people, telling them that I didn’t have time to review a particular tax return, so just do their best, spend the extra time reviewing it line by line to make sure it is right, and then give me the return and assignment docket so I can sign off on it. Then of course I cheated by reviewing the return and making any corrections myself.

 

But what I found surprised me: when the staff thought there was no safety net, that their work was essentially going straight to the client, the improvement in their work was substantial.  The typical mistakes buried in statement #38 of the tax return and other places where staff don’t typically self-check their work were caught.  There is something to the concept of pride of ownership.

 

Most CPA firms have smart people who genuinely want to do a great job, but are not given a realistic opportunity to do so.  It would be wiser to create an environment that allows people to reach their potential rather than automatically treating everyone as mere parts on an assembly line.

 

Back to The Roots of All Evil

 

Overhead

If CPA billing rates are so high (and they are), why aren't partners getting filthy rich?  We so often hear that "the key to firm profitability is leveraging employees".  But if leveraging is so profitable, why can't most partners even make back their own billing rates multiplied by their number of billable hours?

Fancy offices, partially non-billable tax and audit staff, secretaries, receptionists, office managers, human resources, marketing coordinators, IT staff, file clerks, staff training, elaborate telephone systems, complex computer equipment and file servers, industrial size printers and copiers, fancy office furniture, office supplies, advertising, increased liability insurance, etc.

The end result of leverage is overhead. There is a myth that certain CPA firms charge more than others because they are better.  The reality is usually that the overhead is just higher. 

This is the electronic age.  Physical libraries are obsolete and everybody from the guy working out of his garage to the partner at the $20 million accounting firm pretty much has access to the same resources.

The old image of standing around the water cooler asking some guy at your big firm with 20 years experience and a wealth of accumulated knowledge about the application of tax law to a specific fact pattern is vanishing.  Now we just do a keyword search in the the tax research software and we get everything we could ever want to know about the topic in minutes.

For sole proprietors who play their cards right, the only substantial overhead they face nowadays is the tax preparation and research software.  Armed with these two tools and some $1,000 tax projection software, a competent CPA working out of his garage can offer the same tax service to individuals and small business as any big firm, but he can do it without the overhead.

Every dollar spent by a CPA firm on overhead is an extra dollar paid by the client to cover the expense.  As the Internet advances, information flows more freely, and pricing becomes more transparent, clients are gradually figuring out that most of what they are paying for with higher rates is overhead and image.

I realize that people love overhead to some extent.  They like having their own fancy offices in the downtown high-rent district with their secretaries and all the other bells and whistles that make them feel prestigious.  But fancy tastes and image are not the future.  Technology is.

Some possible steps to consider to cut down the overhead:

Move to a lower-rent area.  You can also reduce your square footage requirements by at least half if you abandon the idea of walls and separate offices for everyone and switch to an open-area workspace and a couple conference rooms for clients.  Your fancy office doesn't provide any real value to your clients, and next to payroll, rent is likely your largest expense.

Use VPN's and remote desktops so that people can work from home.  More people working from home = less required office space and overhead.

Ditch your library and the filing services you pay to update it.  Do the research electronically instead.  Not only will this save you on rent (less space needed) and payroll, but electronic research is also vastly more efficient than paper once you get the hang of it.

Get rid of your paper.  Printing, copying, sorting, filing, mailing, routing paper files, lost revenue from time spent looking for paper files, storage space, etc.  All this stuff costs huge amounts of money.  Go paperless.  Start saving and organizing documents on the network so people can access them from anywhere.  Contrary to popular opinion, you generally don't need an expensive paperless document management system to accomplish this (in fact such a system may be even worse than paper).  Windows Explorer is already installed on your computer.  It is fast, intuitive, flexible, customizable, and best of all, free. Combine this with Google Desktop Search and you have pretty much everything you need.  Just be sure you backup your data.

Focus on the real work. Eliminate the bulk of your weekly meetings, committees, and all the nonproductive projects, studies and reports they produce that take away from the only job function that generates any revenue: helping clients.

De-leverage.  Figure out how to do it yourself for less.  Once you get rid of all the paper and the committees that generate it you don't need to hire as many paper pushers.  Use the opportunity to downsize your office manager/firm administrators, marketing department, HR department, admin, etc. and figure out a way to do without the bureaucracy.  As much as all of these functions are probably staffed by wonderful people who seem indispensable, most aren't contributing to your bottom line.

Back to The Roots of All Evil

 

Overtime

 

"This is your life, and it's ending one minute at a time.... Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate, to buy shit we don't need.... You are not your job.  You're not the amount of money you have in the bank.  You're not the car you drive.  You're not the contents of your wallet.  You're not your fucking khakis....."

 

- Chuck Palahniuk, from the book & movie Fight Club

 

"At our partner lunches people talk about how it's awful that summer camp doesn't cover the entire summer, or how they don't know how to avoid giving the nanny a holiday bonus, or how they don't know why their kids hate them. They hate us because we're never home. They hate us because we're pulling out our Blackberries all weekend while we pretend (and they can tell when we're pretending) to enjoy being around them. They hate us because work is #1, and they're #2 -- or #3, or #4.

 

It's sad. Because it's not like years from now we're going to regret not checking the Blackberry more often. It's sad because time passes really quickly and it starts to feel like "too late" very quickly. That's what keeps people here. By the time, maybe eight months into your first year, maybe a year a half -- but not much longer than that in most cases -- by the time you realize what this job is doing to you it feels like you're stuck. "It's too late." And so you hope it gets better. And you hope, and you hope, and you work, and you work -- and then it's no better, and even more so, "it's too late."

 

And then you may as well stick around and try and make partner, and then if you're lucky enough and skilled enough and effective enough at what you do, and the right people know it, you make partner, and you think it's all going to change. And a lot does change. But the hours are still long, and there's still a hierarchy so you're never really at the top of the totem pole, and the money jumps but the pressure doesn't really slow down, and the people you compare yourself to change, and you aren't really relaxed about it... and it really is "too late" now, because this has gone from a job to a career, and you're stuck. And you never see your kids. And they hate you. And then you don't even want to go home, and so you stay at the office, and the spiral continues...

 

I just woke up to an e-mail from an associate who's been looking more and more pregnant recently, but was in the office as recently as yesterday. 'I just gave birth to a daughter, [name], this morning at 4:13 A.M. So I will not be in the office today. I will be checking my Blackberry throughout the day, so feel free to let me know if you need anything. Thanks.'........

 

I don't say this lightly, but I don't believe there is any way for a good person to work at a place like this without destroying whatever makes him or her good.  I see interesting, kind, creative people come in and quickly turn cold.  At first, it was the speed that shocked me.  This takes over their lives, and suddenly what made them human vanishes.  Their souls get swallowed.  Before they can do anything about it.  And they resign themselves to their fates.  As corporate drones, completing repetitive, mind-numbing tasks for outrageous salaries and little else.  Tell me I'm wrong.  Tell me it's all just my imagination running wild.  Tell me it's this four-hour meeting I just escaped from, that took us through dinner, and whatever semblance of an evening I thought I would have, and that's it not the reality.  This wasn't supposed to be the life I ended up with."

 

- From the website Anonymous Lawyer

 

 

 

I'm beginning to think overtime is more a personality disorder than a necessity in the accounting profession.  One of my economics professors in college used to argue that you never see doctors lounging around on the beach during the day because their time is too valuable.  They make at least $100 per hour so to be at the beach costs them too much.

 

Taking time to enjoy life costs too much?  Even if he's right, is this any way to think about life?  If the purpose of work is to enhance life, why do we treat it the other way around?  If you make five times per hour what most other people make, shouldn't that mean you have five times as much free time to lounge around on the beach?

 

In the 1950's the American Bar Association reported that billable hours should average about 1,300 per year.  I don't have any statistics on 1950's accountants, but I assume it was about the same.  Nowadays we have amazing Internet tax research tools and tax preparation software that can accomplish tasks with efficiencies undreamed of in the 1950's.  Yet today the minimum billable hours quotas for most CPA firms are at 1,800 annually.  What happened?

 

Part of the problem may lie with hourly billing.  The product we sell is billable hours, so maximizing revenue necessarily means maximizing hours worked.  Looking at the Forbes 400 or any similar list of extremely wealthy people, few if any got rich using this model.  The wealthiest (self-made) people certainly worked hard to achieve their wealth, but more importantly they worked smart.

 

Working smart involves taking a step back from billable hours and thinking seriously about how to make the work we do more valuable.  Most CPA firms give lip service to this  concept in the form of continuing professional education.  But what I've often seen in practice is that when employees attempt to bill any significant amount of time to actual process improvement, they get questioning phone calls requesting that the time be reclassified to "personal time" for which the employee doesn't get paid.  "Professional reading is something that should be done on your own time" I've heard one CPA firm partner say.  What message is this sending?

 

The end result is that when clients ask what can be done to lower their tax bills, I've heard CPA's respond with "not much really".  Maybe if we shifted the focus from "how do we maximize billable hours?" to "how do we maximize tax savings and accumulate wealth for clients?", and charged accordingly, we could come up with some better tax planning ideas than "not much really".

 

If we took some "quality time" away from our timesheets to read about new ideas, randomly chat with clients, or even just brainstorm (try writing down 10 ideas to save a particular client money no matter how ridiculous the ideas may seem at first, one or two might actually end up being great ideas), we might become more valuable to the people we serve than just the product of our billable hours times billing rate. 

 

Perhaps as a result of focusing on the billable hours rather than on tax savings and wealth accumulation for the clients, everyone seems to think that overtime is a necessary evil in the CPA profession.  Is it?

 

We nearly kill ourselves working overtime from February through the middle of April.  Come May staff people are sending out e-mails asking if anyone has any work for them.  In reality there is no April 15th filing deadline.  Corporate returns can easily be extended through September 15th, individuals and partnerships through October 15th.  The work doesn't all have to be done by April 15th.  Why do we act like it does?

 

Here's a thought: extend tax returns whenever it is feasible.  Do the projection work in November and December to figure out about how much the client owes, have the clients pay in their taxes based on that, then spread the time-consuming tax preparation work out evenly through the year.  If something comes up you didn't anticipate in the projection, plug the new piece of information into the tax projection software and adjust accordingly.  It isn't rocket science.

 

Some clients absolutely refuse to extend.  File their returns early and charge more for your work than you would for a client who is more flexible and willing to extend.  But for everyone else, at least make an effort to educate them that the filing deadlines generally don't matter as long as you pay in your tax on time.  Some clients will actually appreciate not having to rush to get all their tax documents to you by Mid-March so you can finish their returns by April 15th. 

 

If you use January to do any payroll tax and 1099 work (or better yet just go on vacation), February through Mid-April to prepare the urgent returns for clients who won't extend, Mid-April through October 15th to prepare the bulk of the returns, and November and December to focus on projections, you might actually find that you can stay busy the whole year without working a whole lot of overtime.

 

But that's just my $.02, I could be completely wrong.  Perhaps we are just meant to suffer, to hire seasonal staff at huge extra expense for tax season and then pay regular staff to do nothing for a good chunk of the non-busy season, to get premature gray hair from the stress, to miss our families, to work some people so hard that it drives them out of public accounting even though they generally like the work. 

 

A staff person once told me he got a phone call from his mentor during tax season questioning why he had less than 10 billable hours the previous day.  This person does good work and has great potential; I hope he stays in public accounting.  Too bad the industry doesn't make it easier for people to want to stay.

 

My first mentor left the CPA firm I was at partly because she hated the overtime.  I don't understand why they didn't just let her work less hours.  Everybody loved working with her.  Why do CPA firms think it is better to lose someone completely than to let them work 200-300 less hours during the year?

 

Back to The Roots of All Evil

 

Recruiting Propaganda

 

“I’m not a line item, damnit, I’m a column!”

 

-Anonymous staff person

 

There is a movie called Crazy People that came out in the early ‘90’s about an ad executive, Emory Leeson, who gets tired of creating phony ads.  He decides to take a different approach to advertising: telling the brutal truth.  His colleagues are so shocked by the honest ads he comes up with, they decide he is crazy and send him to a mental institution. 

 

At the institution, Emory meets other crazy people, and somehow they start writing ads together.  When Emory’s ad agency accidentally runs a bunch of the honest ads, the firm is amazed that consumers love the ads and sales for the products go through the roof:

 

“Metamucil: It helps you go to the toilet.  If you don’t use it, you will get cancer and die.”

 

“Continental Express: We’ll screw the other guy to get your package there on time.”

 

“Jaguar: For men who want hand jobs from beautiful women they hardly know."

 

“Porsche: It’s a little too small to get laid in, but you get laid the minute you get out."

 

“Volvo: Boxy, but good."

 

“Come in the Bahamas.”

 

The movie itself isn’t all that great, but it’s the message that’s important: people want honesty and will respond when you give it to them.  Which brings me to BS in the public accounting recruiting process. 

 

Below are some excerpts from the recruiting materials of various firms, both large and small, followed by how it really works.  Apologies if what follows describes your situation exactly.  I’m not trying to pick on any one firm:

 

Why (Our Firm)?

 

“Our firm culture is infused with creativity, integrity and humanity.”

 

Upon starting, most large firms will stick you in a cubicle under fluorescent lights and no windows in the middle of a cube farm, give you a policies and procedures manual to follow, provide you with mundane work subject to multiple levels of review that second and third-guess your work, make you track every 6 minutes or quarter hour of your day on a timesheet and submit backlog reports and time recaps weekly, require you to sign in when you get in to work and sign out when you leave, harass you about meeting budgets, pressure you to work huge amounts of overtime during “busy seasons” which end up lasting half the year, judge you almost solely by your billable hours, tell you to "just follow last year" when you have questions "because that's the way we've always done it", and refer any bright ideas you might have about improving things to the appropriate committee where the idea will either be ignored or endlessly debated while nothing happens. 

 

“You are an individual, and not a line item on a spreadsheet, to the partners and those who make decisions about your future.”

 

While a few partners might be able to associate your name with a picture of you, and some might even occasionally talk to you during scheduled annual lunches designed to improve morale, the majority of attention you receive from the partners will consist of them seeing your name listed on a spreadsheet comparing staff by hours worked.  Your name will show up on a daily time and chargeability spreadsheet, the weekly office project backlog spreadsheet, the weekly time and chargeability spreadsheet, the bi-monthly time recap spreadsheet, the monthly time and chargeability spreadsheet, and a host of other spreadsheets designed to monitor your billable hours and ensure you don’t have much of a life outside the office during the “busy seasons”.  Fortunately, you will not be merely a line item in all of these spreadsheets.  On several, you will actually have an entire column devoted to you. 

 

“We work with some of the most successful and exciting clients, who range from self-made billionaires to high profile entertainers and entertainment companies to real estate firms to almost every type of business.  We typically work with the key individuals (executives and owners) as well as the businesses themselves.”

 

By “we”, we mean the partners, not you.  You get to sit in a cubicle and associate with your fellow cubicle-dwellers.  By “exciting clients”, we usually mean the client’s assistant financial person or bookkeeper, not the actual client, since why would any client want to deal with a boring accountant directly when they can afford to pay someone else to do it for them?  Think about it: is a movie star or self-made billionaire actually going to call you, a new staff person, for tax advice?  If you’re lucky though, you may get to send e-mails to that client’s financial person’s assistant, provided you cc the partner on all e-mails you send.

 

“Our growth allows motivated employees to advance at a rapid pace and offers opportunities to stretch professionally.”

 

Virtually the entire staff turns over every three years at many firms.  Oftentimes, no one in the history of the firm has ever started as a staff person and advanced to partner.  The most realistic path to advancement usually involves interviewing with other firms to obtain a better offer, then taking that offer or using it as a bargaining chip with your current firm.  One common career path is to start as a staff person at one firm, get hired by a second firm as a senior, then a third as a manager, and so on up the ranks to partner.

 

“Our firm’s profit margin is at or near the top in the industry.”

 

One way these profit margins are achieved is by paying you less.

 

“Our per partner profits rival any other CPA firm.  Most of our partners would tell you they make more money today than they ever expected to in public accounting.  This is a very good reason to build your career at (our firm).”

 

While the probability of you ever becoming a partner is under 1% based on historical attrition rates, you can take comfort in the fact that the long hours you put in will go towards buying the partners huge houses they won’t get to enjoy, fancy automobiles to stroke their egos, therapy for their children who rarely see them, and overpriced divorce lawyers for when their marriages inevitably break down as a result of neglecting their families for their careers in the pursuit of more billable hours.

 

“Working at (our firm) means working as part of a team, a team of diverse, forward-thinking professionals constantly striving to deliver fully-integrated client solutions in an atmosphere of continuous learning.”

 

Tax return preparation is not a team sport.  You need to be able to work on your own, figure things out for yourself, train yourself, do professional reading on your own time, and not bug others with dumb questions.  There is almost nothing forward-thinking about this profession.  Primarily we are concerned with what was done in the prior year and how to follow last year in a way that minimizes the current year budget.  We do not implement “fully-integrated” solutions to anything, and specialize in missing tax savings because we are too focused on meeting the budget.  When we aren’t focused just on the prior year, we usually ignore everything about a transaction or strategy except the tax implications, which is why we frequently advise clients to unnecessarily spend a dollar in order to obtain $.40 of tax savings, completely ignoring the fact that we just cost the client $.60.

 

“Continual exploration of new ways to allow individuals to manage their workload and personal life is key to the success of a culture that respects work-life flexibility.”

 

We accountants tend not to be very flexible people in practice.  We didn’t have a life or career flexibility when we were staff people, so why should you?  We want to have control over you, and we feel more in control when you are working in the office at least five days a week, a minimum of eight hours per day.  While paperless and Internet technologies will continue to make the need for a physical office and fixed work schedules largely obsolete, we don’t feel in control unless we can physically walk over to your cubicle and harass you.  While we will let you take days off or leave early on occasion, you need to obtain permission from us before doing so.

 

“How do you envision your career? As a series of engaging assignments and challenging projects that build a satisfying growth path? As an opportunity to do meaningful work that helps clients solve complex business issues? As a chance to contribute to your community, build intellectual capital, and develop marketplace eminence? You can expect to do all of these things and much more at (our firm)."

 

As a chance to “develop marketplace eminence”?  I want some of whatever they’re smoking.

 

“Before submitting your resume, be sure to review our recruitment process and interview tips pages, or contact the career guidance center at your university.”

 

Since we aren’t really interested in finding out who you are, we’ve developed these interview tips to instruct you on how to bullshit us during the interview so you will appear more likely to fit our mold. 

 

“You will be allowed to perform a specific search in order to see a list of opportunities that match your requirements and submit your job-specific candidate profile on-line. Your first profile submission will take approximately 30 minutes.”

 

Yes folks, you read that right: it takes 30 minutes for you to submit your resume with us.

 

“Your submission will be reviewed by the recruiting professionals and hiring managers in the offices where you submitted your interest. It will not be reviewed until after the submission deadline.”

 

Your resume will not initially be reviewed by the people you will be working with, or even by accountants.  Instead it will be reviewed by people who majored in sociology, communications, medieval literature, women’s studies or some equally useless subject and were unable to get jobs in any area other than human resources (and possibly public education or the IRS).

 

“You will be contacted either by a (big firm) professional or your placement office regarding next steps and scheduling your campus interview should you be selected.”

 

Someone wise, I think it was Tom Peters, once said that the typical job application process will automatically weed out the best 10% of candidates you could ever get for the job.

 

So there is clearly a lot of BS floating out there in the “recruiting process” for most firms.  What should firms do about it?  I don’t have a clue, but if some firm were dumb enough to put me in charge, I might start by telling the truth for a change.

 

I bag on the accounting profession a lot on this site, but overall I think it's a decent career choice.  If I had to do it over again, I would.  While there is a lot of crap to deal with when you start out, in the longer-term you develop some nice relationships with clients and friendships with the people you work with who are going through the same things you are; you aren't stuck doing the same exact thing every day, it's relatively easy to start your own firm once you've acquired the necessary skills; the work is sometimes challenging; it pays well; you never have to worry about being unemployed (death and taxes); for the most part you are doing good (keeping money away from the government) rather than evil (e.g. divorce lawyers); you don't have to hire someone else to do your tax return, your car insurance rates tend to be lower, etc.

 

There are a lot of positive, albeit relatively mundane benefits to the accounting profession.  Why not start selling them? 

 

"Come to our firm.  Yes, the overtime sucks and the starting pay isn't great, but if you stick with us for a few years we'll teach you all the skills you need to go out on your own and live your life the way you want to."

 

"Public accounting: At least we're not selling crack."

 

Joking aside, I think KPMG is on the right track with the honesty approach:

 

"Exactly how heavy is the workload?  Will I be expected to work overtime?"

 

"We won't mince words — experience tells us you should expect a significant workload in your first year, including evenings and some weekends. As your coworkers may tell you, it's all part of acquiring the skills needed to become a seasoned professional. There are peak seasons in all practice groups at KPMG. That is why we have an aggressive 20-30 personal day policy plus eight firm holidays."

 

Okay, so two out of the four sentences are somewhat BS, but for the public accounting industry, that's progress!

 

Back to The Roots of All Evil

 

Seniority

 

"From each according to his ability, to each according to his need."

 

- Karl Marx, The Communist Manifesto

 

Here's a not so radical idea: people should get paid for what they do, not for how long they have been at a firm.

 

A typical pyramid scheme lasts for as long as there are new recruits to keep pouring in money to the people on top.  Eventually a shortage of new recruits develops and the pyramid scheme collapses. 

 

Most public accounting firms follow a similar business model.  Two or more CPA's start a firm.  The firm grows and admits new partners.  The new partners are compensated partly on the basis of their performance, and partly on seniority, in effect paying dues to the original partners who have been there longer.  The original partners eventually retire, the first wave of new partners moves to the top of the pyramid, and the second wave of new partners starts paying seniority dues to the first wave.

 

The first wave of new partners becomes a bit lazy because their compensation is based largely on seniority rather than performance.  They have less incentive to develop new business, so they don't.  The firm stops growing as rapidly.  The second wave of new partners realizes that without a growing practice it will become difficult for them to recoup the seniority dues they are paying to the first wave of partners. 

 

The pyramid scheme unravels and the firm eventually implodes when the second wave of new partners leaves with their books of business to start their own firms, thereby beginning the process anew.  Of course I'm grossly oversimplifying, but the general concept is correct, as evidenced by the fact that on an overall percentage basis, there are very few firms in the history of public accounting that have survived beyond the third generation of partners.

 

The firm where I started my career was a great place to get started in public accounting.  The problem was that the firm's partner compensation structure was based largely on seniority, and the firm wasn't growing.  Once I had learned all the technical tax knowledge the partners had to offer, there was no incentive for me to stay.  What would have been the point for me to pay in seniority dues to the existing partners when I wouldn't be able to recoup those dues because the existing partners were not growing the business?

 

In just over a dozen years, another firm I know went from nothing to becoming the largest CPA firm headquartered in Los Angeles.  The firm determines partner compensation solely on performance.  As a result, the firm is able to recruit all the young partners from large seniority-based firms.  The partners bring their books of business with them to this firm because they are able to keep more of the fruits of their labor.  It is much easier for these partners to simply come to this firm (or start their own) than to argue about the compensation structure with the senior partners at their existing firms.

 

The coming retirement wave of the baby boomers presents an additional challenge to firms who compensate based on seniority.  Overall there will be more CPA's looking to retire from the business than new CPA's willing and able to buy out those partners.  When supply exceeds demand, the price drops.  When the payout burden to retiring partners exceeds the willingness of younger partners to fund those retirement payouts, younger partners will simply bolt to firms that don't have seniority-based compensation time bombs built in to their business models.

 

100% performance-based partner compensation is the future in public accounting.  As the saying goes in Star Trek, "We are the Borg.  Lower your shields and power down your weapons.  Your biological and technological distinctiveness will be added to our own.  Resistance is futile.  You will be assimilated."

 

Back to The Roots of All Evil

 

 

The Gang Rape System

"Minimum security prison is no picnic.  I had a client in there once.  He said the trick is: kick someone's ass the first day, or become somebody's bitch.  Then everything will be alright."

- Rob Newhouse, from the movie Office Space

So it is with public accounting.  Whenever a new staff person starts working in a firm's tax department, one of two scenarios usually unfolds during the first year:

Scenario 1: The staff person basically sucks.  They make lots of mistakes and don't learn from them, do sloppy work, take too long, consistently ask stupid questions, aren't that pleasant to work with, etc.  Partners and managers typically assign their projects to the good staff people regardless of workload because they are easier to work with.  As a result, the new staff person who sucks is typically out of work.  They send all-user e-mails out every day or so with the subject. "Do you have any work for me?", "Need work", etc.

The projects the new staff person does get are usually the absolute bottom of the barrel projects that nobody else wants to work on.  The staff person does a crappy job on the crappy projects (who wouldn't?), which further reinforces their image as a crappy staff person.

Usually within the first year of shoddy work and daily "Need Work" e-mails, the staff person figures it out and quits.  In cases where they don't figure it out, they get a lackluster annual review and a miniscule raise, and then if they still don't figure it out within a couple months after that, the firm generally fires them.

Scenario 2: The staff person does at least a decent job.  They get things right by the second or third attempt, ask semi-intelligent questions, make fewer mistakes as time goes on, are pleasant to work with, etc.  Within a few months, word gets around that the new staff person is pretty good.

At this point the gang-rape system kicks in.  No matter how many workflow meetings and backlog reports a firm has, the reality is that partners and managers usually don't listen to each other when it comes to assigning work to staff.  If the staff person is good, everyone is going to have projects to assign that staff, and everyone is going to expect that their projects will have high priority.  In the same way that 80% of people consider themselves to be above-average drivers, most all managers think that their projects have above-average priority.

From the staff person's perspective, they are being gang-raped on workflow.  They have five partners and eight managers constantly bugging them about the status of their projects.  The staff person can work lots of overtime and finish all the projects with a reasonable turnaround time, but doing so will make everyone happy, which will result in even more work being assigned to the point that even after working ridiculous amounts of overtime, the work still won't get done.  No good deed goes unpunished.

I propose doing away with the gang-rape system and replacing it with the bitch system.  Under the bitch system, every staff person who starts at a firm would be subject to the gang-rape system for the first six months of employment.  After six months, the staff person would choose one or two partners or managers, and after that point, the staff person (with the partner's consent) would become that partner's bitch.  That partner's work would always have top priority, and all the other partners and managers would be made aware of this, subject to an ass-kicking (figuratively) if they messed with someone else's bitch.

Natural selection being what it is, the staff people would choose to become the bitches of the best partners or managers.  Under the bitch system, the partners and managers would have a choice whether or not to accept anyone who requested to be their bitch, such that the best partners and managers could choose to work only with the best staff people.  In this way, the best staff people would naturally be paired up with the best partners and managers, and the worst partners and managers and the worst staff people would end up stuck together by default.

This is justice.  The best partners, managers and staff people deserve to work together, as do the worst.

Back to The Roots of All Evil

 

Timesheet Recaps

 

“Try this exercise…. Write the very best ad you can, one designed to attract new team members…. In your ad explain how challenging the position is, how great the firm is, how wonderful the salary will be.  Even throw in that the firm has a day care center for kids if you like.  Then, at the bottom of the ad, include this note, ‘We ask you to account for every six-minute period of your time.’  That little phrase says so much about how you value your people- in short, you don’t!”

 

- Paul Dunn, from the book “The Firm of the Future.”

 

 

Along with the timesheet, many firms require their employees to submit a timesheet recap: a summary of each day’s activity showing time in, time out for lunch, time back in from lunch, time out at the end of the day, total hours worked, total billable hours, and total non-billable hours. 

 

I’m not a fan of hourly billing, but to the extent that hourly billing is used to price services, timesheets are a necessary evil.  The timesheet recap, however, serves no such purpose- it implicitly communicates one clear message: we don’t trust you.  If a firm doesn’t trust its employees to be honest about their hours, how in good conscience can the firm use hourly billing for its customers? What keeps an employee who is determined to fudge timesheets from fudging the timesheet recap as well?

 

In addition to wasting staff members' time, a second person has to be paid to compile and monitor the data from the timesheet recaps.  Customers are billed more, or staff people are paid less, so that resources can be allocated to fund an internal timesheet police.  More importantly, the recaps are downright insulting and demoralizing to employees.  Since a demoralized employee who feels micromanaged is more likely to cheat on his timesheet than a happy employee, timesheet recaps may encourage the very behavior they were designed to prevent.

 

The following e-mails, which were forwarded to me by staff members at various CPA firms, illustrate the problem (my comments are in red below):

 

Subject: Hours last Monday

 

Per xxx's request, I am writing to request that you please estimate the number of billable and non-billable hours you worked last Monday 1/31. I understand that the time was released and therefore it was not included in your weekly report. If possible, xxx would like me to factor those numbers into the summary prior to your meeting later today. Please advise.

 

Why are you bothering me when you can access this information automatically from the time and billing software? Why is xxx requesting you to request this information from me instead of just asking me directly?  Doesn't xxx have clients to deal with instead of wasting my time on workflow meetings? If he's low on actual work, I can give him some. 

 

Subject: Weekly Time Summaries

 

This is just a reminder pertaining to the weekly time summaries. When a payroll period overlaps during a week, please print daily summaries for any days for which the time will have been released when you print your weekly summaries. You can either hold on to those daily reports and submit them to me with your weekly summary, or turn them in to me, so that I am able to factor them into the weekly report.

 

Huh?

 

Subject: Timesheet Recap Revision

 

You are receiving this email because your 1/15 timesheet recap is missing the “in/out” information, as specified in my 12/30 email below.  I have highlighted the applicable paragraph….

 

Attached is the newly revised timesheet recap.  All professional staff and seniors, and administrative employees, will need to complete the top portion (“in”, “out for lunch”, “in from lunch”, “out”) of the recap for each day worked.  Please note that you should be taking a lunch break each day on which you work more than 6 hours.  While firm policy provides for a 1-hour lunch, a 30-minute lunch break is the minimum that should be taken.

 

If monitoring the hourly whereabouts of employees is beneficial, then surely tracking the minute-by-minute detail would be even more productive:

 

You are receiving this email because your timesheet recap is missing the required bathroom break information, as specified in my email below….

 

Attached is the newly revised timesheet recap.  All professional staff, seniors and administrative employees will need to complete the top portion (“in”, “out for piss break”, “in from piss break”, “out for piss break”, etc.) of the recap for each day worked.  Please note that you should be taking a piss break each day on which you work more than 6 hours.  While firm policy provides for a 1-minute piss, a 30-second piss is the minimum that should be taken....

 

Unfortunately, most staff people do not become vocal about their frustration with e-mails like this.  They just sit back and take it, quietly letting the frustration build until eventually they quit.  Management never gets the message. 

 

Recently promoted partners at the largest accounting firms were asked to rank the skills necessary to become a partner.  According to the survey, the most important skills in order of importance are: 1) Interpersonal skills, 2) Leadership, 3) Communication, 4) Practice development, 5) Technical tax knowledge, and 6) Administrative.

 

Close your eyes and picture someone with great interpersonal skills who is a natural-born leader, communicates well and brings in the business- the four most important skills per the survey.  Is this go-getter the type of person who is likely to put up with recording every detail of his or her activities and being micromanaged for the 10+ years it usually takes to make partner?  How many people in leadership positions do you know who were developed into leaders via micromanagement?

 

I've heard partners at various CPA firms complain about the lack of management talent in their firms.  The firms have lots of people who can follow detailed instructions, but few who have developed the skills necessary to deal with clients themselves and handle complex work that doesn't come with instructions.  Many partners are overloaded with detailed tax return review because they have a shortage of people to whom they can effectively delegate the review and management functions.  Their employees do a decent job of hitting fastballs, but often strike out when they are thrown a curve.

 

Apparently the CPA profession does such a good job of weeding out people with any sense of initiative, creativity (and perhaps dignity), that much of what remains are workers capable of blindly following instructions and prior year workpapers, but not much else.  Micromanagement may not offend the average worker, but it eventually drives most of the best people out of public accounting into other fields where they don’t have to put up with it.  

 

Back to The Roots of All Evil

 

 

Workpaper Proliferation

 

If Steve Jobs were an accountant, what would his workpapers look like?

 

Would his files be monstrosities overflowing with paper?

 

Would he use hole reinforcers and metal binding clips just to keep his files from falling apart?

 

Would he staple his workpapers onto legal sheets and then un-staple and re-staple them every time he needed to add or remove a document?

 

Would he waste time manually writing the client name, tax year, schedule title and date on the top of each workpaper?

 

Would he be afraid of paperless technology?

 

Would he create automatic footers in Excel so that when someone else subsequently messed up his spreadsheet the workpaper printed with his initials on it?

 

Would he use projection-to-actual reconciliations, extension-to-actual reconciliations, and projection-to-extension-to-actual reconciliations that required manual updating every time a change to the tax return was made?

 

Would he overlook major tax issues because he was too focused on workpaper technicalities to see the bigger picture?

 

Would he spend time verifying the accuracy of unnecessary lead-sheets that could have been eliminated in favor of reviewing directly from the source documents to the tax return?

 

Would he create spreadsheets duplicating information already detailed on the tax return?

 

Would he reference every document received from the client during the year regardless of its relevance to the tax return?

 

Would his workpapers contain a plethora of cross-referencing that ended up not tying out to anything because there were too many references to follow?

 

Would he create assignment dockets just to document that nothing was done?

 

Would he take seriously an AICPA checklist?

 

Would he impose so many workpaper documentation procedures on his tax department that it took 6 people to do the job that 2 people used to do?

 

No, Steve Jobs would do none of these things because fortunately for the world, and unfortunately for public accounting, Steve Jobs decided not to become an accountant.

Back to The Roots of All Evil

 

Miscellaneous Heresy

 

Old Dogs, New Tricks

 

Innovation has historically been the almost exclusive domain of the young, and the aging CPA industry is not innovating.  The last truly new service produced by the CPA profession was the Statement on Standards for Accounting and Review Services, effective in 1978.  All the other new services the profession has offered are merely extensions of services offered by others. 

Abolishing Performance Appraisals

Performance appraisals impede genuine feedback, and there's no solid evidence that they motivate people or lead to meaningful improvement. To the contrary, they are more likely to destroy human spirit and turn motivated employees into demoralized ones.

 

The Path to the Dark Side

 

How big law firms entice law school graduates to sell their souls for a career in corporate law.  Same type of deal in accounting.

 

The Case Against Intern Programs

 

I hesitate to post this since I've actually worked with a couple great interns, but she's got a point.  Scroll down to #2.  As "Anonymous Lawyer" points out, a big problem is that "we can't give interns meaningful work because some of them will prove incompetent.  And if the work is meaningful, then by definition we need to have competent people doing it."  Otherwise we are just babysitters at our clients' expense.

 

How to Bullshit Potential Employees

 

"We have the atmosphere of a small firm with the resources of a large firm; it's the best of both worlds; we work hard but we play hard; it's all about the people; you'll do great work everywhere, but it's the people that make the difference; our success speaks for itself; you won't find a place with more interesting cases or more challenging work; we strive to maintain an informal working atmosphere; we know what really matters in life; we're growing at an unbelievable pace....."

Dumb Interview Questions

Most standard interview questions are so cliché they might as well be from beauty pageants where the girls are asked what they want most and each one responds with "world peace".

Fun With Buzzwords

A collaborative, synergistic approach to bullshit avoidance utilizing third-generation, web-enabled initiatives to engender a garbage-free paradigm.

Cool Software Features We'll Never See

 

Someone forwarded me this in an e-mail.....

 

Strange But True All-User Emails

 

Includes classics such as "Should I perm my hair?" and "Does anyone have any dental floss?"

 

What Your Clients Really Think

 

Don't answer questions with "it depends", don't keep shuffling the staff on my account, don't nickel and dime me with bills for $100 and charges for phone calls and copies, give me a package price instead of one based on hours, stop sending me stuff that doesn't apply to me, don't market to me based on fear, ask me what I think in person rather than sending me surveys, show me where you're adding value, make my life easier.

 

Fun With Email Disclaimers

 

Parodies of typical email disclaimers.  (No animals were harmed in the posting of this link).

 

Timesheet Codes for the Real World

 

How we really spend our time at work.

 

Benchmarking, Fear and Keeping Up With the Joneses

 

The whole point of competition is to obtain a competitive advantage based on a strategy of differentiation.  You can't achieve that by trying to copy other firms, at least not firms within your industry.  This letter is in response to an article called "Your Firm's Score" from a mainstream accounting publication alleging the wonders of benchmarking. 

 

Death to Multitasking

 

Most companies will probably continue to stick their heads in the sand on this one, but the evidence is clear: multitasking significantly reduces productivity and quality, creates unnecessary stress, and in the case of e-mail and instant messaging, appears to lower IQ even more than smoking pot.  Check out these tips to prevent e-mail from screwing up your day.  They missed the most obvious ones though: turn off Microsoft Outlook and set your instant messenger to appear offline.

 

Is Your Office Killing You?

 

The modern office is home to as many as 350 different volatile organic chemicals released by building materials, furnishings and office equipment.  Putting in workaholic hours in a drab cubicle under fluorescent lights while breathing recycled air and wearing uncomfortable office attire is not healthy.  We were not designed to spend our lives this way.  Not to mention the fact that billions of dollars are lost each year in reduced productivity and increased illness as a result of attempting to work in the typical office environment.  Why do we do this to ourselves?

 

Meetings

 

The practical alternative to work.  The partners at this one firm I know once devoted almost an entire partner meeting to debating whether the gum in the break room should be stored in the packs it came in, or individually unwrapped in order to prevent people from taking too much gum at one time.  For a time the firm actually paid someone to unwrap the gum into individual sticks.   

 

 

The Unimportance of Mission Statements

 

Necessities are not objectives. Satisfying your customers’ needs, providing a quality work environment for your employees, and increasing shareholder value are not missions any more than breathing is a mission for an individual.  If the everyday work environment doesn’t reflect the goals of the business, the process of hiring consultants, holding committee meetings, and harassing employees with surveys in order to put a bunch of vague words on fancy paper and frame it is unlikely to help.

If you want a mission, pick a client at random, go back to the drawing board and figure out all the ways you can save that client money that you haven't been.  Next, implement those ideas.  Then repeat, client by client.  In the meantime, here's a thought: “Our mission is to stop wasting company resources on developing mission statements.”

Cubicles

Even the original designer thinks they may have been a bad idea.

Truths and Trends in Making Partner

 

Despite the HR hype you hear, the path to partner in big firms is becoming more difficult: it takes longer than it used to and the overtime requirements are harsher.

 

Is Atlas Shrugging?

 

Few young people want to become accountants it seems.  At the last CPA conference I went to I was the only guy under 30, and one of only a few under 40 out of hundreds of people.  It felt like an AARP convention.  It may be a seller's market in the CPA practice market at the moment, but demographics are going to turn this into a serious buyer's market over the next 10 years as the aging partners find there are not enough qualified associates to take over their firms.  I'm saving my money. 

The Job Cult

Go to school, rack up lots of debt to pay the tuition, get good grades, participate in lots of impressive sounding extracurricular activities and get a diploma from a good school so you can get a good job with good benefits where you get to spend 40 to 80 hours of your precious time per week doing something you don't care about mainly for the sake of fitting in and buying things you don't need that you must spend all your time working to pay for.  To top it off, the government is going to take up to 50% of your paycheck.  Who's in? 

Why Accountants Stay

 

A survey of accountants says that nearly 70% would leave their employer.  What keeps the other 30% loyal?

 

Accountant Jokes

 

Why did the accountant cross the road?  Because he looked in the file and that's what they did last year.

 

Demotivators

 

Consulting: If you're not part of the solution, there's good money to be made in prolonging the problem.  Ignorance: It's amazing how much easier it is for a team to work together when no one has any idea where they're going.  Individuality: Always remember that you are unique, just like everybody else.  Laziness: Success is a journey, not a destination, so stop running.  Demotivation: Sometimes the best solution to morale problems is to just fire all of the unhappy people.  Retirement: Because you've given so much of yourself to the company that you don't have anything left we can use.

 

BullshitJob.com

 

Collection of actual B.S. corporate memos and e-mails.  Need a fancy job title? Check out the Bullshit Job Title Generator (inspired by the Web Economy Bullshit Generator).  Not to be outdone, there is also the Dilbert Mission Statement Generator (this one is scary).

 

The Non Billable Hour

 

Revolutionizing law practice one idea at a time.  A lot of great ideas here that also apply to public accounting.

 

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